Frequently Asked Questions:
Q. Who thought of this game?
A. Just go with “A couple of Crackheads.” If we told you the truth, you wouldn’t believe it and you’d say, “Bulls**t! It was probably just a couple of crackheads.”
Q. Can I get sick if I eat the crack rock?
A. Oh, yes you can! If you like the taste of these puppies, you’d be happy married to my sister and her cooking! They aren’t poison, but they sure as hell aren’t food! If you do eat some, send me a video of what happens!
Q. What if I run out of crack rock?
A. What did you do with it? How did you “run out?” You could play with real crack, I guess – but that would be expensive and illegal. You could use candy (but the sugar would attract ants to your tidy abode). I recommend buying a whole new Crack House game. Or you can order replacement crack, which comes with a new deck of cards, a new game board, pawns, cups and a grog cup. Your choice, really.
Q. How long will it take to get my game?
A. In geologic time? It is already there. To stretch that out for you; We ship it when you pay for it.
Q. What if I have a really great idea for some cards?
A. Great! We love card ideas! Go to our “Submit a Card Idea” page and submit your card idea. If we use it, we’ll say we thought of it before you sent it in! Then you can get the satisfaction of telling people you really thought of it. Sometimes we might give people cool, fun stuff for sending in card ideas. This will be random, so if you aren’t a hot girl within driving distance of our world headquarters, you probably won’t win.
Q. What if the game really offends me?
A. Well, that sucks for you. Then don’t play it. (unless you’re into that)
Q. What if a certain card really offends me?
A. Well…too bad. But if you’re really REALLY concerned about it, you can let us know via our little survey “Vote on your favorite card.” Or you can let us know by emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org We really get email at this address and we read it. Then we send it around to each other and share our feelings about what you say. This is a very important input to our creative process. Our cards have been extensively tested though. If you think one is offensive, we are pretty sure you are wrong.
Q. Does Crack House make a good gift?
A. It isn’t really cool to give it to actual crackheads. They often don’t get it, and it has minimal resale value. Other than that, everyone loves this as a gift! Consider it especially for baby showers and 50th wedding anniversaries (that is known as the “Crack” anniversary, after all).
Q. Your game comes in a red Solo cup. Are you endorsed by or affiliated with Solo Cup Company?
A. Actually, our game comes in a red cup – but not necessarily a Solo cup. We are in no way endorsed or affiliated with the Solo Company. If you’d like to buy Solo cups, click here. Sometimes we use red plastic Dixie cups. We are in no way endorsed or affiliated with Dixie Co. If you’d like to buy Dixie cups, click here. Or, you could purchase Hefty cups here, which also doesn’t endorse us.
While we are on the subject, we are not endorsed by Toby Keith and his song “Red Solo Cup”. If you’d like to listen to his song, click here.
Q. The cards don’t appear to be the same size.
A. Well, damn. We figured people playing Crack House wouldn’t be concerned with quality control. We make our own games and cut our own cards by hand, so there is some variation. We aren’t building the pyramids here, Crackhead. If you’d like us to get a professional to cut our cards, feel free to donate a lot of money so we can hire professional or get better equipment!